My Funny Valentines

On the day before Valentine's Day, the kids in Miss Ropey's class are decorating their Valentine bags for the next day. Unlike the other kids, C.J. drew a realistic human heart on her bag. Miss Ropey tells her that the other kids might be too scared of her bag to put Valentines in it, but C.J. admits that she does not care whether or not she actually gets any cards, admitting that she does not like Valentine's Day, finding it to be a dumb holiday.

At the end of the day, the gang walks out of school with Vance complimenting C.J. on how it took guts to say what she said in class about Valentine's Day. Mickey on the other hand does not agree with anything C.J. said, saying that she thinks it is the most beautiful day of the year. Greta adds that the traditional aspect appeals to her, and Rus states that he likes the candy. C.J. shrugs it off, and leads the gang to Morrison's.

Once the gang gets to Morrison's, Mickey points out that they are selling Valentines, leading Rigalli, Greta, and Rus over to the display: there are sports-themed cards, space-themed cards and Beany McChimp-themed cards. C.J. and Vance get annoyed with their friends getting excited about the cards, however, Vance goes over to join them when Rus announces that there are also wrestling-themed cards. Upset, C.J. goes over to the counter where Mrs. Morrison greets her, ordering a strawberry frappe with extra syrup. Knowing that she only orders that when she's upset, C.J. explains to Mrs. Morrison that she is annoyed that everyone's so excited about Valentine's Day cards. Mrs. Morrispn explains that when she was a kid, she and her schoolmates had to make all the cards by hand instead of simply buying them - this gives C.J. an idea.

That night, C.J. is sitting in her room, making Valentines. However, she decides to make them into prank Valentines, turning usual Valentine messages into jokes. The next day, Harry lets C.J. into the classroom early, "since it's for a good cause." C.J. then proceeds to put the joke cards into each of the boys' bags.

During recess, the students are looking at their Valentines with enjoyment. Rigalli congratulates C.J. for boycotting Valentine's Day, but C.J. tells her that at that moment, each girl at their school was opening up a handmade Valentine from her. Although Rigalli comments C.J. on being a "softy," C.J. explains that all the Valentines had jokes written on them, by showing one of them to Rigalli, and adds that she hopes the Valentines will show the boys how dumb the holiday is. Then, Wally walks up to C.J. and thanks her for the card, commenting on how sweet she is. Though C.J. is surprised, he explains that no-one expected her to give any Valentines out after what she said the previous day, but he was happy that she made a special exception for him, and that he was flattered, much to C.J.'s disbelief. Phil comes up to her next with his card, she tells him there's no hard feelings, but he tells her that he loved the card, and asks her when she is going to "compare [him] to that summer's day" - part of the joke he wrote on the card. C.J. tells him she will do that next week, and he walks off happily. C.J. feels as if she is in trouble, and Rigalli tells her to come up with one of her famous plans. C.J. explains that this was one of her famous plans.

Meanwhile, in the Aubrees' Clubhouse, Aubree E. is going through her Valentines, calling each one stupid until she gets to Vance's Valentine. The rest of the Aubrees walk in, commenting on how bad their Valentines are. Aubree E. tells them that they've been a little to hard on Vance as well as C.J., and Aubree R. tells her she is been thinking the same thing. Aubree R-G. also agrees with them. Aubree E. decides to put his picture on their wall of acceptable boys, but Aubree R. is not sure if any of them have his picture. Also, in the Megans' Clubhouse, Megan H is going through her Valentines, calling each one stupid until she gets to Vance's Valentine. The rest of the Megans walk in, commenting on how bad their Valentines are. Megan H. tells them that they've been a little to hard on Vance as well as C.J., and Megan D tells her she is been thinking the same thing. Megan C also agrees with them. Megan H decides to put his picture on their wall of acceptable boys, but Megan D. is not sure if any of them have his picture. Also, at the fields, Dawson has given Sasha a Valentines card, and makes her happy. Sasha gives Dawson a kiss. In his den, Dawson is going through his Valentines, calling each one stupid until he gets to C.J.'s Valentine. His crew Frankie Wazowski,Jimbo, Mario, Jasper and Joey walk in, commenting on how bad their Valentines are. Dawson tells them that they've been a little to hard on C.J., and Frankie tells him he is been thinking the same thing. Jimbo also agrees with them. Dawson decides to put her picture on their board of acceptable girls, but Frankie is not sure if any of them have his picture.

On the playground, Marsh the Worst asks the Diggers if they have seen Vance, with Jade telling her she has not. Marsh explains that when they do, she wants to talk to Vance about the Valentine he gave her, and she calls him a "dear". She walks off, and then Shulman turns up and asks the Diggers if they have seen C.J., with Jade telling him she has not. Shulman explains that when they do, he wants to talk to C.J. about the Valentine she gave him, and he calls her a "dear". C.J. and Rigalli come up out of the Diggers' hole after Shulman walks off, and C.J. thanks them for letting them hide in it. Jade comments on that they need to get out before second recess as he and Pam walk off. C.J. tells Rigalli that she is upset about how each boy thought the Valentine she gave each of them was special, and that she did not want them to find out that other boys got Valentines from her, too. Rigalli tells her that she needs to tell the boys to keep the Valentines "between them". C.J. is confused about how Rigalli knows about this, and she adds that it's because her parents just got cable.

At the same time, the Aubrees have put all the other pictures of "acceptable boys" together to make a picture of Vance. Aubree E. tells them that she found him acceptable due to the Valentine he gave her. However, the other Aubrees noted that he made one for each of them, too. Aubree R., Aubree R-G., and Aubree W. get into an argument over who got the better Valentine, until Aubree E. explains that Vance's in trouble for giving each of them a special Valentine. At the same time, the Megans have put all the other pictures of "acceptable boys" together to make a picture of Vance. Megan H. tells them that she found him acceptable due to the Valentine he gave her. However, the other Megans noted that he made one for each of them, too. Megan D., Megan C., and Megan B. get into an argument over who got the better Valentine, until Megan D. explains that Vance's in trouble for giving each of them a special Valentine.

At the same time, Dawson and his crew have put all the other pictures of "acceptable girls" together to make a picture of C.J.. Dawson tells them that he found her acceptable due to the Valentine she gave him. However, his crew noted that she made one for each of them, too. His crew get into an argument over who got the better Valentine, until Dawson explains that C.J.'s in trouble for giving each of them a special Valentine.

Over by the swingset, C.J. tells Swinger Boy that she's glad he liked her Valentine, but she wants it to be between her and him, as well as Rigalli. Suddenly, Aubree E. calls all the girls of the playground over to their clubhouse, even the Megans. Dawson calls all the boys of the playground over to his den, and Swinger Boy leaves. C.J. compliments Rigalli on her plan.

After all the girls gathered to the clubhouse, Aubree E. tells all the girls that Vance gave each of them a "special" Valentine, much to their dismay. The first girl was upset because Vance said she was "special", and Upright Girl was upset because he told her to keep it between them. Aubree E. decides that they should all give Vance a makeover as his punishment, and they all agree with her. Meanwhile, after all the girls gathered to the clubhouse, Dawson tells all the boys that C.J. gave each of them a "special" Valentine, much to their dismay. The first boy was upset because C.J. said he was "special", and Swinger Boy was upset because she told him to keep it between them. Aubree E. decides that they should all give C.J. a swirly as her punishment, and they all agree with him. Over by the swing set, C.J. wonders what all the boys are talking about, until she hears them chanting, "Get C.J.!". Rigalli yells at C.J. to run, which they do as the boys chase after them.

In order to get away from the boys, C.J. and Rigalli run behind one of the ball walls. Right as C.J. is explaining her escape plan, Vance finds her and thanks her for the Valentine, noting how special she made it by dotting the "i"s in his name with little skulls. As she tells him to keep it between them, Greta arrives and thanks C.J. for impressing Vance. Godfrey also arrives and thanks C.J. for her Valentine, and then he left. Vance is disappointed with C.J., thinking that all this time, he was the first string on her team. She reassures him that he is, until Greta wonders about her place, with her saying both of them are first string. C.J. tries to get Rigalli to help her, but she tells her that she "knows nothing." Over by the monkey bars, the boys wonder where C.J. is, with Vance pointing out his hiding place to them. They proceed to chase after her, with C.J. and Rigalli heading to the girls' bathroom to hide.

After running into the girls' room, Rus and Mickey walk out of their separate stalls at the same time, apparently playing some sort of game. When Mickey asks them what game they've been playing, C.J. says it is, "Hide from boys." Rus asks if he and Mickey can play, but Rigalli explains C.J.'s situation with the cards. Afraid of the boys trapping them inside, Rus and Mickey begin to leave, until they notice that it's too late where their trapped by boys. On the other side of the door, it is shown that Greta and Vance leads the girls and boys there. Rigalli tells her friends that Vance's brother, Chad, told him that boys and girls can stay mad for up to seven years, which puts C.J. in a panic. Mickey suggests that C.J. should simply apologize for what she has done, which she does.

As the boys bang on the door, Rigalli holds out the white flag and comes out, saying that she comes in peace. Dawson asks for C.J., and she explains that she will be out in a minute, but the boys have to hear her out before doing anything else. C.J. then walks out and apologizes for what she did. After hearing her apology, the boys at first forgive C.J., but when C.J. reveals that the cards she made for all the boys are actually joke cards, the girls stop and realize that C.J. did not actually mean any of the stuff she said. Vance orders them to go after her, and they begin chasing her again. Rigalli thinks that next year, C.J. should buy her cards like a normal kid, with Rus adding that C.J. will never be a normal kid. Later, Vance ends up getting caught by the girls and he is forced to own up to the girls for making funny Valentine cards to all the girls. After hearing his apology, the girls at first forgive Vance, but when Vance reveals that the cards he made for all the girls are actually joke cards, the boys stop and realize that Vance did not actually mean any of the stuff he said. Aubree E. orders them to go after him, and they begin chasing him again. C.J. rushes off to help Vance and protect him. After saving Vance for being attacked by the girls, C.J. and Vance apologise to each other and forgive each other.